Family ·
You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. But you can choose who, if anyone, within your immediate family you want to know about your HIV status. This decision can be doubly complicated if you’re a gay man who’s not ‘out’ to his family. The disclosure that you are HIV-positive will almost always lead to the question ‘Are you gay?’. Remember, you are the best judge of how your family may react to your news.
“My sister knows but my mother and father, I didn’t want to trouble them with it.” – Simon
Many positive guys choose one family member to speak to first. This can be a sibling, or perhaps a favourite aunt, uncle or cousin. Once this person has come to terms with the news themselves, they can be a useful support when it comes to telling others within the family circle.
A lot of positive men find that, once the initial reactions (which can vary from fear and anguish to anger, a need to understand or even apparent indifference) have run their course, their family rallies round and becomes actively involved in helping them to live with the condition. It can even bring family members closer together. Others, however, have had much less happy experiences.
Sometimes religious beliefs or cultural factors make it very difficult for families to discuss or deal with homosexuality and/or HIV. Again, you are the best judge of your family situation.
